About a Holiday different from expectations
by SushiBar
Summary: Sirius and the family go to a fancy mansion every summer. Their usual place had already been booked,so his mum finds a new one..Guess what-there's no such mansion. RL/SB and minor SB/OC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some that I made up, who I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill!

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex possibly graphic. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/ Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/ Rodolphus; Severus/ Regulus; Lucius/ Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda and Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

--

Sirius was positively not amused. You see, every summer, he and his parents and some friends, went to a luxurious mansion somewhere in the country. Their usual place had been booked by the Carrows this year, so Walburga Black had to book a new place. This new place, unfortunately, had just proved to be, in fact, a non-existent mansion. How his mother managed to book the mansion in the first place, was something Sirius and Regulus were very, very curious about. Their moping and musing did nothing for their mother's already bad mood.

After six long hours of driving in their huge Mercedes, they arrived at a poorly under kept summer camp for families with dogs. 'I want to go home!' Narcissa whined while fanning herself with some girly magazine. Her long-time boyfriend, Lucius Malfoy, sighed deeply again. She'd said this at least five times, every ten minutes. The teenagers were feeling hot, sticky and thoroughly annoyed by now.

Hot and sticky because the blasted air-conditioning had decided to break down three hours ago. Sirius swore once more and stepped out of the hot car._. _At least outside there was a nice breeze. He fumbled the inside of his jeans pocket and took out his cigarettes. He lit a Marlboro Mint and took a relaxing drag. He leaned against the car as he watched the scene before him. His mother was screaming obscenities at poor Mrs. Pettigrew, who was the owner of the camp; while his father was trying (and failing) to calm her down. After a few more minutes, Orion Black gave up and walked back to his car. Without a word, Sirius handed him his cigarette. His father took large drags and was silent until the cigarette was finished. He stubbed it out with his expensive sandal and said "Your mother is convinced Mrs Pettigrew tried to steal our money. Not that she wouldn't need it, but she doesn't even own the mansion. It's all nonsense, but you know your mother." 'Very stubborn and unreasonable. Just like me.' Sirius thought with a smile. "Hopefully Mrs Pettigrew will come up with a solution." He added. The others had gotten out of the car as well and waited for Walburga to return with news.

"What are we going to do now, Mother?" Regulus asked. "Are we going back home?" Narcissa added hopefully. Walburaga laughed humourlessly. "Of course not, we're staying here. I've not just spent six hours in an overheated car, just to spent another six hours in again!" Bellatrix's face contorted. "I don't care if you think it's beneath you, you're too spoiled anyway!" added Walburaga at the sight of Bellatrix's look of horror. "Pick a partner and then get your bags. Mrs Pettigrew has offered us some rooms in the apartments over there." She pointed towards the right. "Or you could stay in a tent, if you want to, and really experience the life of people that don't have the money for something decent."

In the end, the three sisters Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa got a room in the apartment and the boys picked their tents. They were curious about sleeping in a tent, after seventeen years of mansions and penthouses. Regulus shared with Severus, his best friend, and Lucius went with Rodolphus, which left Sirius blissfully on his own. He was extremely glad for this, because Rodolphus had a habit of loud snoring and his brother talked in his sleep. Sharing with Lucius or Severus could possibly be no picnic either, for they could be rather whiney when their girlfriends had their periods. (thus, they were left to a week of no shagging)

He set down his bag and fell down on the surprisingly soft yet rickety bed.

Before he knew it, he fell asleep.

--

"Oi, Sirius!" Someone was poking him in the stomach, not at all too gently. Sirius managed to open one bleary eye and saw Severus leaning over him with a smirk. "Dinner time!" Severus announced before walking out of the tent. Sirius took a moment to rub his sleepy eyes before sitting up. He mussed his hair and mentally noted he'd inform himself about a shower later on. Once he exited the tent, he was surprised by his mother holding a large pan of soup.

Why he would be surprised, you may wonder. Well the reason to that would be that Walburga Black simply didn't cook. She'd never even touched any cooking utensil as far as Sirius memory went back. "Mrs Pettigrew was kind enough to make us dinner." She elaborated at his strange look. "So I invited her son and her to join us." She waved in a general direction. A mousy haired lady stood there with a rather chubby boy next to her. He looked nervous at the sight of expensiveness that oozed of the Black family so Sirius gave him a smile that was somewhat reassuring. He could be nice, you know.

"Hi, I'm Sirius." He introduced himself to the boy as he sat down on a wooden chair. "Peter Pettigrew." The boy told him with a small smile. "I'm so glad there are other young people…Well there is this one boy, but he doesn't really like me, I think. That or he just ignores everyone but his mother in general." Peter added. "So there are no other teenagers here?' Andromeda asked, stunned.

"Not yet, no. My friend James will arrive next week though, I'm sure you'll like him. There are also some nice kids in Godrics Hollow; it's not far from here'

The soup turned out to be surprisingly edible but it didn't still Sirius' hunger.

He was a growing boy, after all. "Mum, I'm still hungry…Can't we order pizza or something?" he asked as rubbed his tummy overdramatically. His mother in reply, fixed him with a stare that told him to stop his silly behaviour. 'Just smoke some cigarettes, dear, it'll make you less hungry.' She then turned around to thank Mrs Pettigrew for the soup. For someone who'd been yelling at that same person mere hours ago, she was quite friendly now. "It was delicious yet so simple!" Walburga complimented the mousy woman. "Oh thank you. It's easy really; they sell these packets at the local supermarket. Just add some fresh herbs and vegetables, and you're done! And on Sundays, they have a market on the town's square, selling fresh foods."

Sirius tuned out the conversation and told his friends he was going to the toilets.

Peter told him the main directions and soon Sirius was relieving his full bladder.

Self-pitying still about his hunger, he returned to the tents. "What in hell's name are you doing?!" he exclaimed at the rather pathetic sight that met him. Lucius and Severus were huddled around a pile of sticks, trying to light it. "We're trying to build a campfire." Severus grumbled, fumbling with his lighter. Of course, neither of the boys had ever built one, so they were failing miserably.

Suddenly, 'The sticks are too wet.' a voice remarked, also laughing. It was Peter, he apparently had followed Sirius on his way to the tents. 'Let me do it.' He said as he went away for some wood. Once he returned, he arranged them in a neat circle, expertly lit a stick, and placed it on the circle. This was lit up the rest of the other sticks within a few minutes. "How'd you do that?" Rodolphus asked, amazed at something he for once, didn't know how to do. "Boy scout." Peter told them proudly. "I used to go there with James."

End of chapter one.

Smoking cigarettes does indeed relief the feeling of hunger a bit, at least for me :P

Anyway I hope you liked it! Give a review and I will update soon again, since I have four chapters written out and I am busy on number five currently.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me

_(Comments are italicized and in parenthesis)_

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some that I made up, who I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill!

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex possibly graphic. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/ Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/ Rodolphus; Severus/ Regulus; Lucius/ Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda and Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

After a week of good fun, three things happened (described in order of importance to Sirius Black and consequently also in chronicle order). First, he ran out of cigarettes. This was, of course, disastrous. Anyone who knew Sirius, knew he smoked five to ten cigarettes a day. He had just finished his last cigarette, when he realised that had been, in fact, the very last of his stash. Sirius would simply die without cigarettes (and with much dramatics) so he went to Godrics Hollow, taking his brother and Severus along, as the latter also needed some new cancer-inducing sticks

Narcissa was finally relieved of her period (and so was everyone of her bad moods); so Lucius took the chance to make up for a week of rather pathetic handjobs. Rodolphus went for a walk with Bellatrix, whom he was still trying to woe. He had yet to succeed after three years of hard work. Sirius was sure she'd cave in soon though, as she had been pretending not to be interested for the last five months. Bellatrix just liked to play with her food before she ate it.

The three boys had decided to walk to the town, as their driver was also free this week. His mother had pitied him and told him to get a room in one of the apartments, so that he could relax after his rather stressful year. "There had better be a tobacco shop!" Severus grumbled, wiping his sweaty forehead. "I second that!" Regulus agreed. Sirius and Severus gave him both a curious look. "You don't even smoke." Severus told him gravely. Regulus laughed at his best friend. "Of course not, but you're both cranky as hell."

Ten long minutes later, they arrived in Godrics Hollow. "Finally…" Severus groaned, looking around for any sign of shops selling cigarettes. "Ah, over there!" Regulus said joyfully, pointing towards a small souvenir shop. Once they stepped inside, they discovered it was even smaller than it looked, due to the fact that it was stuffed with way too many ornaments. Severus immediately walked over to the lady behind the counter. "May I help you?" she asked pleasantly. Probably because they were the first customers in years and not because of Severus' greasy hair"Yes," Severus snapped. "I'd like five packs of Pall Mall, containing 30 cigarettes and five packs of Pall Mall soft taste." The lady stared at him, not so pleasantly now; "Can I see your identification, please?"

'Are you joking?' Severus stared at the lady. "Most certainly not." She deadpanned, while Severus, begrudgingly, handed her his I.D. "Alright, then…" She handed him the packs of cigarettes after he paid and looked at the other two. "Yes?" she said rather unfriendly. Sirius surprised her with a charming smile and told her he wanted ten packs of Marlboro Mint, _please._ He was cheerful at the sight and smell of so many cigarettes. The lady blushed at Sirius' wink and promptly turned around to grab the cigarettes. After he'd stuffed them in his pockets with much effort, he took her hand and kissed it. Then he walked out of the shop, Regulus and Severus trailing after him. "You didn't pay for them, did you?" Severus chuckled. "Nope," Sirius retorted, skipping over the streets.

"Where to now?" asked Regulus. His feet where starting to hurt and they'd had walked into all the shops in town that were interesting. Godrics Hollow was extremely boring during the day, so they returned to the camp, dragging their feet along.

Once at the camp, the second thing happened. James Potter arrived. A scruffy-haired ball of energy and mischievousness. Apparently, Potter lived in Godrics Hollow, but he went to a boarding school so he was only there for the summer. He wanted to be a famous football player someday, but he was focusing on his studies now (of course, there'd been the necessary pressure from his parents). His status at his school was made clear when he introduced himself; "Hello my soon to be victims! The name is James PRANKMASTER Potter, in short, J.P.P!" he took a bow towards the stunned boys and girls.

Sirius was the first to recover, and to defend his honour. "Good day, you poor lad. I am afraid I must tell you that you are sadly mistaken, for I, Sirius Black am the Prankster KING Extraordinaire" This ensued in a friendly bicker between the two, about who was the better prankster. James and Sirius proved to have many things in common, besides their dark hair. Both were extremely arrogant, but with good reason and both had an obsession with their hair.

Except that, well, Sirius' hair managed to look good all the time and James'…well, didn't.

But enough about hair!

"So, James…What else besides football…" Bellatrix sneered at the word football, "are you interested in?" He'd been talking about his matches non-stop and frankly, it was starting to bore her to death. James' face lit up as if he'd had some kind of light inside of him and he started smiling widely. "Well…There is this girl I really like." "More like, he obsesses over her." Peter interrupted, sticking his tiny nose up in the air. "Shut it, Pete. Anyway, she's the prettiest—" "And the most hateful" Peter added. "—Person I have ever met." James continued as if Peter hadn't said anything.

"Lily Evans…She's got this really bright red hair and the most beautiful green eyes…I don't know how to describe them…They're like…emerald and forest-y green." He sighed like an average love-sick fool. "Oh please, you're nauseating me." Severus mocked before standing.

Severus had taken an immediate grudge to the boy, since he actually hung out with Lily Evans (dated her even in his dreams) sometimes. Lily Evans was someone that was never to be mentioned around Severus. She'd somewhat broken his heart by going away for boarding school. They had just been good friends though, Severus insisted. As long as Lily's name didn't surface, the two were okay, but as James was rather obsessed with the girl, she was mentioned quite a lot.

The third and last thing that happened was that the mysterious spoken Remus now had a face. Sirius and Lucius were just heading to the toilets (not to do something dirty together) when Peter joined them half way, panting like a panting panther. "You – have to – come- see this!" They followed him, with full bladders, to the outer side of the camp. The tents seemed to get older and older the further they walked, some even were torn in some places.

Finally they stopped at the edge of the camp, staring over a small clearing. Music sounded softly and they noticed something moving. It was a boy dancing…with another boy. They swung and spun each other around, while laughing quietly about something. Sirius was absolutely mesmerised by the sight. It seemed like the taller one was teaching the other boy how to dance. It all looked very cute and he couldn't resist sighing.

"The tall one, with the shabby clothes? That's Remus, you know, the one I told you about." Peter informed them, pointing towards the boys. Remus. They'd been rather curious about Remus, after Peter had told them some of his rather funny encounters (especially the one where Peter was locked into the washrooms, and Remus just blatantly ignored him) "So…he's gay?" Lucius asked, sounding not very interested. "Oh, he could be." Peter shrugged. "He does seem a bit…girly sometimes, don't you think?" "Well, friends don't dance together like that." Sirius remarked, watching Remus pull the other boy closer to his chest. "True…" Peter murmured, blushing lightly.

Sirius stared at the pair for a few more moments. "We can always ask them." He decided, and walked over to them. "No, wait!" the mousy haired boy yelled, only a little too loud. The two dancing boys were snapped out of their peaceful trance and saw Sirius coming up to them. Remus stood stock-still, while the other approached. 'What do you want?' he snapped at Sirius, who was the closest to him. "Nothing, really…Just wanted to ask you if you two are…" he coughed discreetly. "Gay." The boy seemed too shocked by Sirius' boldness to answer the question and so Remus came towards them. He grabbed the boys arm, sneered at the three friends and walked away briskly. "So…That was Remus, eh?" Lucius commented lightly.

--

"Is there anything else to do here, besides sitting by a campfire and spying on other people?" Narcissa whined, jealous that she hadn't been called by Peter. "Well…" Peter started unsurely. "There's this disco, every Friday and Saturday night, just outside Godrics Hollow." James said, since his friend seemed too nervous to speak. "Its loads of fun and people come from all over. In fact, there's a new DJ tonight, Pete! I forgot to tell you that!"

After it was decided that they would go, Narcissa immediately ran off towards the apartments, her sisters tagging along. She was squealing about her new dress. Once the girls came out again, it seemed as if they were thinking they were going to some expensive club. Bellatrix was wearing some golden, frilly dress that hugged her lean figure and some insanely high heels. Narcissa was wearing her new favourite dress, a turquoise glittery dress that swirled with every step. Andromeda on the other hand, was the only one wearing simple jeans and a tank top. Thank god for her. "Are you planning going out like that?" Narcissa stopped her hopping at once and stared at the boys in horror. They were still wearing the same clothes of that day and saw nothing wrong with this. "Honestly!" She grabbed Lucius hand and dragged him with her to his tent. They could all hear her scolding him and his dirty shoes and icky shirt. "Listen, Dolph…" Bellatrix started. "I won't dance with you if you're looking like you've rolled in mud all day." She glanced at his dishevelled hair. 'Why don't follow Lucius and let Narcissa pick something nice for you, eh?" She made it a question, but it was obviously more of a command. Quickly, Rodolphus stood up and hurried after the two blondes. Bellatrix sat down, looking rather pleased with herself. "Well?" She turned to the remaining four. Peter squeaked and hurried to his room quicker than one could say squeak.

Regulus and Sirius looked at each other in horror. They'd suffered Narcissa's fashion outbursts far too many times. His privates still hurt when Sirius thought about the leather pants she'd once made him wear. "I think…" he started slowly. "That I'll just go and…erm…change." "DON'T LEAVE US ALONE WITH HER!!" Regulus yelled after him, sounding quite scared. _(didn't James react? It's okay if he does not but there'd be more detail if he did)_

He raced through his bag and scolded himself for not having unpacked already. He fished out a black t-shirt that hugged a little too tightly for his usual liking and his black trousers. He couldn't find any of his other shoes at the moment so he pulled on his army boots. He looked kind of rough like this, but he knew the effect it'd have on some people. He quickly combed through his hair, put a little product in it, stuffed a pack of cigarettes and some money down his pocket and got back to the campfire.

He was the first to be back, he noted, and he sat down for a cigarette. "Sorry to keep you waiting." Andromeda apologized as she and Bellatrix got back from the loos. "Oh, look at Lucius"' She giggled, pointing towards a rather uncomfortable-looking Lucius. He was wearing some silver blouse, made of silky material and some loose jeans. He looked expensive, right down to his shoes. "It itches, Cissa." He complained, pulling the collar of the blouse. "I don't care." She said curtly. "It makes you look hot." Their driver, Mr. Lee, had agreed to bring and pick the kids up from the disco, so if they were to get drunk, at least they'd arrive home safely. Whoever said the Blacks weren't caring parents were wrong.

--

Author Notes

Even though Sirius has enough money to buy the entire collection of cigarettes in the shop and then some, he finds it exciting not to pay for something sometimes. ( I.E Shoplifting) _( Beta Nic: no it's called womanizing lolxD)_

Hope you liked it! _(Beta Nic: oh yes I did 3)_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me

_(Comments are italicized and in parenthesis)_

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some characters that I made up, whom I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill! D

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex possibly graphic. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/ Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/ Rodolphus; Severus/ Regulus; Lucius/ Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda and Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

**Note:** This chapter has some disco and some …sex... But not graphic.

"Here it is, Ladies and Gents!" Mr. Lee parked right in front of a large building, to which loads of teenagers were walking towards. A path (lined with benches on the side) surrounding the building was lit up with the tiniest lights, probably for the people who needed some quiet time or special time with their significant others.

They stepped out of the car, which had attracted many stares, and walked inside. Inside, the building was divided into two main parts: the relaxing and the dancing part. The bar was on the side of the couches and comfortable chairs, and so was the washroom. Luckily for some of the group, this was a disco; you were still allowed to smoke in the gathering by the thick air.

They made their way over to the bar and waited for the rather lazy bartender to come and, well, tend them. "Oh come on, you lazy arse! I've a pocket full o' money and this way, you're not getting it!" Sirius yelled at the man/boy bartender. It was kind of difficult to tell by his backside. He finally turned around and walked over to their side of the bar. Then he stared, mouth open a bit. "Erm, yes, sorry. What do you want to drink?" He snapped out of his trance and gestured towards the many bottles and glasses. Once they were seated and sipping drinks, Sirius realized it had been the boy who was dancing with Remus that same afternoon. "You're so oblivious sometimes…" Lucius said, shaking his head with a chuckle.

Bellatrix had kept to her promise to Rodolphus and dragged him to the dance floor after his fifth drink. Lucius and Narcissa had also disappeared somewhere, but by the flash of bright blond every now and then, Sirius was almost certain they were with Bellatrix. Regulus was, as always, on the toilet, puking his guts out, with Peter taking care of him. It was usually Andromeda or Severus taking care of the boy. "I'm going to check on him. What if Peter lets him drown himself in his own vomit?" said Severus as he stood up hastily. He was always somewhat of a worrier when Regulus was involved.

Severus' retreat left Sirius alone with his cousin Andromeda, something which he wouldn't have minded under other circumstances. She'd been nagging him for the entire car trip, waving his little black book of conquests around in front of his face. How'd she'd managed to find it in the midst of the mess that was his tent, he had no idea. "I thought our mission was to get you laid." She stated coldly, stirring her Martini. "Yeah..." he said as he slowly sipped his drink. It may very well be the last one he'll drink tonight.

"The only time you've left that bloody chair was to either get another drink or to take a waltz." She fixed him with a glare and he knew that much was true. "So?" but he didn't quite see the problem with that. "You're not going to get any if you keep sitting on your fat arse!" she exclaimed, exasperated. At that, Sirius barely resisted the urge to grab his ass to check. "That's it!" Andromeda said. She stood up when she got no reaction from him. "We're going to find Bella! She'll know who you can hook up with." Somehow, Bellatrix always succeeded in finding Sirius dates when he himself couldn't. This didn't happen very often, of course, because Sirius was more than capable of wooing. He downed his glass of Baileys and stood up shakily.

Bellatrix had indeed, as usual, spotted someone. Very nice, from what Sirius could see (which wasn't a lot, to be honest). "There's one problem, though. I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl." It wasn't so much the gender problem; it was more that Sirius would have to use different tactics. He could care less if the person he was shagging had tits or not.

The group sneakily moved closer to the to-be-shagged, observing him/her, pretending to lose themselves into the music as to not be noticed. Sirius could now see that the person was wearing tight jeans, a voluminous blouse and some eyeliner. This made it apparent he/she was a girl. But, Sirius knew well enough that there were boys who dressed up like that as well, he himself not excluded.

The person noticed their staring and promptly turned around to talk with a girl. This puzzled Sirius' slightly tipsy mind. Did he/she not want him? He boldly walked over to the stranger, who was now obviously a male and said to his back; "Hello." The boy turned around so quickly that Sirius thought his neck could have snapped.

"Hi," the boy retorted, voice deep and warm. "I'm Sirius Black." Sirius said with a smirk. "May I ask for your name?" he shot the blonde boy a charming smile, and got a blush in return. "Max. I'm Max." Max, Sirius knew for sure now, was as gay as a maypole. He'd seen Max shoot a quick glance at his body. "Nice to meet you Max." he replied then he looked at the girl. "I'm Susanne." She told him, not looking very interested. "Do you mind if I steal your friend for a dance?" he asked her. She shrugged and waved her hand, as if to say, whatever you want. "Excellent." He grabbed Max's wrist lightly. "Bye bye, then." Max proved to be a fantastic dancer, and Sirius couldn't help but wonder how he'd be in bed. Because that is how the night would end, if Sirius had any say in it. And incidentally, he did.

Indeed, the next morning he awoke with his arms wrapped around Max, still sleeping soundly.

Sirius stared at him for a while, remembering his moans and the feel of him, writhing on the bed, before he rolled out of bed for breakfast. (I.E. lots of water and cigarettes)

He'd just lit his third one, when Max stepped out of the tent, fully dressed. "G'morning." He yawned, taking a seat next to Sirius. 'I had a great time last night.' He told Sirius with a bright smile. "Thanks…" Sirius said, slightly arrogant. "You're an amazing dancer." Max smiled that sweet, crooked smile again and took the cigarette from Sirius' lips to his own.

"I do break-dance and ballet. I have a performance next week." This, Sirius had already suspected (the ballet-part), judging Max's body's flexibility. He smirked at his inner-innuendo. "I'll come watch you…It is in Godric's Hollow, right?" he added quickly. "Yeah, yeah. It's at the annual fair, celebrating Godric Gryffindor. He was born here, you see." Godric Gryffindor was famous for his discoveries of animal-skin used in medicine, in the Medieval Times. "He lived here?! That's so cool." He also discovered several drugs, which is why Sirius was so interested in him.

"So…" Severus began sourly, after Max had gone home. "You have a boyfriend now?" "What are you, jealous, because your girlfriend couldn't come this year?" Sirius retorted lazily, not really caring about Severus' opinion. Severus shook his head slowly. "Not at all, dearest Sirius. In fact, we broke up just before the holidays." This shocked everyone, since Severus usually told them everything about Monica, his girlfriend. Every dirty detail, even the ones they'd rather not know about, if you catch my drift. "You hadn't told m-us that, yet, Severus." Regulus said, sounding annoyed. "I thought you'd get a hint by me not mentioning her in ages." Severus retorted, equally annoyed. He turned to Sirius again. "But, are you?" he asked getting back on topic. "Of course not. But he's got this show next week and I was planning on going there. It's at the annual fair, so it should be fun." Rodolphus made some weird, cooing noises. "Oh shut it Rolph, you sound like a bloody pidgeon."

"What is he going to do there, anyway?" Lucius asked mouth full of bacon. "He's a dancer," Sirius told them, semi-proud and semi-disgusted at Lucius' eating habits. "He must be flexible, then!" Narcissa giggled. They all burst out laughing at Sirius' knowing smirk.

At that point, Peter and James arrived, puzzled at the laughter. 'What's the joke?' James inquired.

He had left earlier than the rest of them last night, saying he wasn't much of a dancer anyway and had missed the entire Max-ordeal. 'Sirius shagged a dancer, who was very flexible and all that.' Regulus managed to choke out. "Ooooh! Do I know her?" James wiggled his eyebrows. "Him." Peter corrected. "Max, from middle school." James looked confused at that. "So…You're gay then?" he looked at Sirius as if he expected him to suddenly rip of his clothes and reveal an animal-printed thong. "Not really. It's just that I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, or both, as long as they're hot." "You're so crude." Andromeda wriggled her nose in displeasure. "Max the fag, huh…He's an alright bloke, bit too queenie for my tastes, but then again, I don't bat for the other team anyway." said James."Anyway, I sent Lily a letter two weeks ago…I think the mailman couldn't read my handwriting so it's probably somewhere in Podric Swollows ." This was of course, a non-existent village. "Wouldn't she be writing you back, then?" Severus asked with a disgusted smile but honestly curious of James' answer. "Nah, she usually sends them back unopened. That's her way of saying I love you, and I don't need a letter to tell me that you love me too."

They all stared at Severus for ages before ignoring him further and going onto their breakfast.

"Oh come on, I was kidding!" James objected to the lack of attention. "So, Severus…Why did you and Monica break up anyway?" Regulus questioned his friend. Severus shrugged at him, throwing his pack of cigarettes on the bed. Regulus followed the other boy inside the tent and sat down. "Come on, tell me." He pouted at his extremely-extra-super cutest way, but to no avail. After he whined like a puppy for a while, Severus sighed and told him; "She thought I was in love with someone else." Regulus perked up immediately. "And? Are you in love with someone else, or was she just being Monica?" Monica had been kind of paranoid throughout the entire relationship. She'd even cornered Regulus one day, saying he'd better lay off of her boyfriend. Regulus hadn't, of course, spoken to Severus of that day yet. "Dunno…I could be." Severus trailed off mysteriously.

--

Next week rolled by surprisingly fast and Sirius was puzzled by what to wear to a fair. He'd never been to a small-town fair before and the fairs in the city were all about seeing and being seen. Andromeda, however, had quite often; for she liked to stroll down little markets nobody had ever heard of and buy things nobody had ever seen. And thus, he called her for advice. She was surprised, because no one ever came to her for advice about what to wear. They listened to Narcissa for that, because, even though they didn't like to admit it, she knew what she was dealing with.

"I need to find a suitable outfit for this fair, Andy… I haven't got the slightest clue and you've been to these sort of things before, right?" He looked at her in despair. Honestly, sometimes Sirius Black would get a little overdramatic. "Just go with something simple. Just a simple blousy thing with some jeans and sandals. Do something with a necklace or your hair, but don't overdo it. This is not high-end." So, Sirius put on a white, loose blousy, some Capri jeans and his sandals. He let Narcissa braid his long hair, because otherwise it'd get too hot in his neck. All in all, he looked like a pirate. "Well, Mr. Black, I must say, you look handsome." Narcissa and Andromeda nodded approvingly at their work.

Peter's mother made them take the mountain bikes the camp had for its guests, so that they'd be there quicker and to make them do some exercising. She'd not gone so far as to actually call them lazy, but Sirius was sure she thought they were. He and Max had decided they meet up before the show, as well as after, so the group went to where Max had told them to, the main tent, where the performance was also held.

Max was sitting there with some of his fellow dancers. He stood up as soon as he saw Sirius coming towards him. Sirius kissed him briefly on the lips before he slung his arm around his small frame. "Oh, James and Peter! I didn't know you knew Sirius!" Max exclaimed, taking his seat back. "I'm sure you remember Thomas and Quintin." He pointed at the two boys. "Of course!" James replied. "I had such a lovely time pranking them!" "More like terrorizing." Thomas muttered evily under breath. "Tsk tsk, you know you were glad to finally have my attention." James waved his finger at him.

After a while of chatting, a little man came scurrying towards the group. "You have fifteen minutes to change." He wheezed. "Hurry up, for Godric's sake!" He ran away as fast as he came, shouting to his right and left occasionally. "Well, we'd better get going then, Max." Quintin said eager to get away from the company of his former tormentors. 'Max!' Thomas smacked him up the head. "Stop shagging!" "I'll meet you after!" Max shouted to Sirius as he was being dragged away.

Music started slowly and soft, as the lights dimmed. Seven figures seemed to glide over the stage, and lights suddenly pointed right at them as the music boomed out of the speakers. "What the hell…" Peter whispered. "That's…" Lucius stared, shocked. "Remus Lupin!" Sirius exclaimed, equally surprised, recognizing the golden hair and lean body_._

He looked extremely hot in the lycra tights he was wearing. His gaze shifted to Max, twirling in a black version of Remus' golden tights. Max really did have a great arse. Sirius felt his pants tighten around his crotch and happily noted he had worn loose jeans. He flushed as the dancers jumped up and down, crouching to the floor and giving the audience a sultry gaze.

Remus' glance hit Sirius full in the face, and he seemed shocked to find him here. He quickly recovered, jumping to the right with the others, hair sweeping in his pale face. After, Sirius quickly reverted his attention to Max. He may not be the person for boyfriends, but Max was too sweet to double-cross, even in thought. And, boy, was Sirius thinking dirty thoughts about Remus in his golden tights, spanned across his long legs.

"You were absolutely amazing!" Sirius told a flustered Max, fluttering his face with kisses. "And hot too, will you please wear those tights again, for me?" he naughtily suckled on Max's earlobe, not caring who saw the display. "You can meet the others now, if you want." Sirius couldn't refuse his eager look. "That's Ted." Max gestured to a mousy blonde, who waved his hand in return. "And-" Remus stepped into the circle, and, looking around, he introduced himself quietly. "I'm Remus Lupin, as some of you may already know." "I thought you never said anything." Peter said unsubtly. "It's not like I never say _anything_, Pettigrew. It depends on the person talking to me." He coughed and rubbed his throat. "But that's not what's important. What is important is that my mum made cake." "Oh brilliant Remus!" Max exclaimed excitedly. "His mum makes the best cakes, ever!" And so, they trailed after Remus towards his mother.

"Wow, Mrs Lupin! That is amazing!" Andromeda sighed contently after a few bites. "What's your secret? I love baking myself, but I never get cheesecake just right." Mrs. Lupin got a blush on her loveable face and told her with a secretive smile; "Just add a little bit of vanilla, cinnamon and fresh rosemary." "Oh eat, eat, there's plenty" Mrs. Lupin exclaimed, handing Sirius his fourth piece. "My son refuses to act like a teenage boy! I would almost take it as an insult, if one didn't want seconds or thirds." Remus glared at his mother, but didn't say anything besides; "A dancer mustn't weigh too much, mother. You of all people should know that." "Oh shush, I bet you could gain ten kilos and still weigh less than I do." Sirius commented. Remus didn't spare him as much as a glance.

"Oh, oh Remus! I've been meaning to ask you something!" Max piped up, mouth full of cake. "Are you and Edmond together or not?" Remus tensed up and shoved back his chair a bit, as if he was preparing to leave. "Well? Are you?" Max insisted. "No." Remus said resolutely. "I just teach him how to dance, so he doesn't embarrass himself at the school dance in front of his _girlfriend_. I've told you this many times, Max." Max seemed disappointed. "Nah, too bad...I think you two would make a nice couple!" "Max, do shut up.' Ted said in a bored voice. "Your matchmaking always goes wrong for everyone except yourself. Remember when you tried to get Andrew to go out with Samantha?" Max grinned devilishly. "Yeah…He had the biggest-" "Okay, stop right there, Max. I'm still here, you know." Mrs Lupin said, semi-disgusted yet also amused. "I'm not interested in a young boys' trousersnake. Nor am I in its size." They all laughed at the word trousersnake. "But, I am going home anyway, so you can talk dirty all you want." She looked at Remus. "Do you think you'll be alright, walking home?" He nodded, a bit flustered by her asking. "I'll be fine, mum."

"Why wouldn't you be alright?" Peter asked after Mrs Lupin had left. "It's like a ten minute walk." Remus fixed him with a look. He was clearly uncomfortable. "Well..." Sirius started. "I'd be exhausted after dancing like that." "Maybe that's because you've got zero stamina." Severus told him dryly. Sirius thought Remus had sent him a grateful look. But it was probably his imagination.

(Rowan: Beware of some smuttyness here...)

"So, Max. How big was Andrews' trousersnake?" Sirius growled into Max's ear, as he pressed the blonde against a tree. They'd stayed behind after everyone else had gone home. Then they'd gone for a walk and had ended up in a forest. Sirius decided to make the best of it and shag Max's brains out. Max caught his lips and murmered; "So big that it hurt." before slipping his tongue into Sirius' mouth. Sirius trailed his hands down Max's spine, towards his fine arse, and squeezed it hard with one hand, while the other one worked his way into Max's pants. The blonde let out a small whimper and bit Sirius lip harshly. They slid down the tree and onto the soft grass. "Am I bigger?" Sirius asked Max innocently, as Max unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off, together with his underpants. "Better." Max whispered naughtily, as he took Sirius' into his mouth. "Much better..."

Author Notes:

Right…not all that graphic right? Do you think I should move up the rating? Anyway, this is quite possibly the longest chapter I have ever written! Reviews are very much welcome, and flames will be used to warm me up. :P Also, sorry it took me so long!

_Beta comments; (I LOVED IT!! WONDERFUL CHAPPIE D 3)_

_So think you can be a better fangirl? Let's try and see by pushing the lovely REVIEW button!_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some that I made up, who I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill!

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex possibly graphic. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/ Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/ Rodolphus; Severus/ Regulus; Lucius/ Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda and Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

"You're back late." His father remarked, taking a drag of his cigarette casually. Narcissa giggled. "Did you, err, have fun with Max?" "Who's Max?" Walburga demanded sharply. "Your newest conquest?" "He's already conquested him, Aunt Walburga." Bellatrix put in. "Several times in fact, I am sure." "Really now?" Orion sounded interested. "Is he one to stay?" Sirius shot his father a well-known look. "Of course." Orion nodded. "All stayers, yet now they're gone."

"Can we please talk about something else?" Sirius said, slightly irritated. He looked around curiously. "Such as, where the hell are Sev and Reg?!" "Oh they went out for a "'walk.'" Bellatrix said, wiggling her eyebrows impressively. "Ohhh…To do what?" Sirius asked immediately. "Well…Narcissa and I suspect some romance between those two." "We could always…you know…find out if there is." Rodolphus suggested, not sounding innocent at all. "Excellent plan, mate!" Lucius clapped him on the back. "Let's go then!" "Later!" Sirius yelled to his parents as the group went on their way to find Severus and Regulus.

"Shhh! They'll hear us, you idiot!' Bellatrix hissed, as Lucius laughed rather loudly once again. "I just cannot believe it." Lucius chortled happily, even though he was pushed into a bush. Bella's theory had actually made sense to the other; Sev always was rather protective of his Reggy-poo. Not that he ever called him that, but Sirius thought in his mind, he would.

It turned out that finding the two was harder than they'd thought when they started searching for them. The camp was rather big and next to a forest as well. They could be anywhere, shagging and whatnot.

In the dark…"Wait!" Andromeda held up her hands suddenly. "I think I see something!" she pointed to their right. They moved as quietly as they could (i.e.: not as quiet as a mouse) through the bushes and the closer they got to the two figures, the clearer they could hear their voices…

"I think you have something to tell me." Regulus stated, shakily. Severus didn't say anything; he just looked at his friend in an odd way. "I think…" Regulus continued. "That you may be in love with me."

That is one strange love confession, Sirius thought. Apparently, Severus shared his thoughts. (Ew!) He raised his eyebrows sceptically. "What makes you so sure? Must I remind you that you were the one to kiss me? Therefore, you should be the one confessing your undying love for me, not the other way around."

"What kiss?!" Lucius mouthed to Narcissa, who shrugged in return. The Gossip Queen, for once, hadn't a clue.

"Especially since I had a girlfriend at the time." Severus added rather nastily. "Who you didn't love, otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me back!" Regulus yelled. He looked quite hurt and angry. His eyes were starting to tear up, too. Severus remained silent once again. He was doing that an awful lot, lately. "Why won't you just admit it?! I know it, you know it, shit, even Monica knew it!"

Severus stepped up to Regulus and grabbed a hold of his face gently. Regulus opened his mouth to say something again, but Severus growled; "For once, just shut up." And then he kissed him. Hard. On the mouth. Not very friendly-ish, if you'd ask anyone.

They'd left then, leaving them to their private moment. This was a very odd occurrence, but Sirius decided not to dwell on it. He also decided to interrogate Snape like he was from the Spanish Inquisition tomorrow, though.

As the group walked past the washrooms, they spotted Remus, carrying quite a heavy-looking tank of water. "Oh,' he said softly. "Good evening." "Good evening to you too, Mr. Lupin!" James exclaimed loudly, glad he could use his voice again. Remus seemed slightly taken aback by his silly behaviour. Sirius didn't blame the poor lad, being held hostage under James' armpit.

"What are you doing up so late? You look like you could use some sleep." Sirius told the golden-haired beauty—err boy. He studied Remus weary face. He'd come to like the boy since that afternoon. Remus shifted the tank, looking uneasy. "Had to fill this thing up, we were out of water." "I should think that is obvious." Narcissa remarked.

"It looks heavy. Should I help carrying it back to your err…Tent?" "No it's okay. We have a trailer, actually. Well, I must be off, ta ta." He quickly walked past them, seemingly not having any trouble carrying the tank. Odd, Sirius had thought Remus wasn't that strong, judging by his lack of muscled arms. And for some reason Sirius' heart dropped; was this disappointment?

"I must say…That is one odd boy." Bellatrix mused. "But exactly your type, Sirius." "Yeah…" Sirius murmured. "But I have already have a bone to chew on." He woofed comically after that.

--

"Tell me!" Sirius said, poking Severus harshly. He didn't budge, though. Bugger. "Oh come on, Sev! I already know what's going on, so just answer the question." "I don't see why, as you already know the answer." Severus retorted, bitingly.

"You wanker! Did you, or did you not, shag my brother into oblivion last night."

"Well, that was a bit hard with all those twigs lying about, wasn't it? So no, I did not. Now, if you will excuse me, Mr. Perv, I have to go take a waz."

"I can't get him to admit it. He's acting like nothing happened! He even made fun of me! He called me a perv!" He complained to Bellatrix, who just looked bemused. "But you are…I mean, interested in your brother's sex life? That's mildly concerning." Sirius spluttered for a bit, and then said, "Yeah…well…So are you!" "Ouch, really, that hurt." Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Perv Boy, I have a plan." "Do tell!" Sirius demanded dramatically even though he flinched at her calling him that. 'We get him drunk.' Sirius stared at his cousin. Honestly, he came up with better plans than that!

"That won't work. Severus doesn't talk very coherently when he's drunk. Remember when we-" "Then we will play Truth or Dare!" Bellatrix interrupted, ever so rudely. "How will we know he is not lying?"

"You're quite the spoil-sport, aren't you?" she shot him an annoyed look. Then she cackled. Sirius was lost. "We will make his swear an oath on one of his most prized possessions!" She said, after calming down for a bit. "He then must give the thing to us, and if he lies…" "He shall never get it back!" Sirius added, laughing rather madly. "Truth or Dare it is!" Bella joined him in mad laughter. They have become quite the insane loons.

--

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen!" Sirius announced in an important voice. Well, that is what he liked to think. "Tonight, we shall play Truth or Dare, with a twist! Has everyone brought their most prized possessions?" The group nodded. "Well, in case you have forgotten the rules, they are as such! Everyone must put his object in that box!" he pointed towards a paper box, sitting on the table.

"If the majority feels you are lying, or if you skip more than three dares, you can say Ta! to your object for a very long time. In actuality, I mean for eternity!" He laughed madly again.

"Or at least until you do the dare, or tell the truth. Now… Everyone has two papers with their names on it. One for the dares and one for the truths. You must keep the notes once you've had your Truth or Dare. After everyone has gone, we put the notes back into the bowl, and the fun starts again! Now, I shall begin by putting something in the box first." He conjured his granddad's necklace. "Who goes next?!"

After they had invited everyone, they'd told them to look for something really valuable. "So no make-up, Narcissa." They'd told the blonde girl. Anyway, here follows a very boring list of what everyone put inside the box.

Andromeda: a bunch of pictures

Bellatrix: a ring Rodolphus had gotten her for her birthday. This earned strange looks.

Narcissa: a silver headband, set with diamonds.

Rodolphus: a framed picture of Bella in a bathing suit, for obvious reasons.

Severus: the clasp of his belt made of two silver snakes.

Lucius: a cane his father gave to him, he used the secret space in there to stuff his drugs.

Regulus: a locket he'd found on a holiday two years ago.

Peter: his survival kit. He'd had it since he was a kid, and took good care of it.

James: his skateboard, which apparently was one of the best and most expensive.

Max: his dancing shoes.

They had invited Remus to come as well, but after they'd waited another ten minutes, he hadn't shown up, so they decided to start the game."Right then, first up is…" Sirius grabbed a random paper out of the bowl and held it up. "Rodolphus! Truth…or dare?"

"Let's go with a dare, mate!" Sirius thought about it for a moment and then said: "I dare you…to sing a love-song about…Lucius!" He pointed towards the blonde boy for extra drama. Rodolphus' cheeks got a nice bright red colour and he stammered, "About Lucius?!" Sirius smirked evilly. 'Yes…is that a problem?'

"No…not at all…Ooooh Lucius!" he started in falsetto. "Your blonde hair makes me sway and your pointy nose is okay! I love the way you whine a lot, especially when Narcissa is away! The way you tilt your chin, as if you're super important, really does the thiiiing!" He took a deep breath. "Should I go on?"

"Please, God, no!" Lucius exclaimed, touching his nose carefully. It wasn't that pointy, right? 'I get to pick now! Let's see…James!" "Dare, of course!" James said without fear.

"Good man, I dare you to strip and go skateboarding in the nude!" Without hesitation, James removed his shirt. "I've had this dare thousands of times." He explained at seeing their surprised faces.

--

Finally, Severus was made to either tell the truth or pick a dare… Thinking he would be safe, he took the dare. "Alright, Sev…I dare you to kiss Regulus. On the mouth. With tongue." Bellatrix said smugly.

The two victims looked at each other with identical looks of terror. "Oh come on, it's not like it's something we haven't seen before!" Rodolphus told them, not helping at all.

"What?!" Regulus cried out, quite girly. "Yeah, they followed us the other night." Severus told him, already calm. "Sirius tried to question me about it…He failed, of course." He'd been moving closer to the boy as he told him this. Severus carefully placed his hand on Regulus cheek and lowered his lips onto his.

The group started whistling and cooing like mad. "Finally!" Andromeda shouted happily.

After ten minutes, they were forced to full the couple apart, before things got too heated. "Look, I may be a perv, but I am no fan of live porn." Sirius exclaimed, shielding his eyes mockingly.

"Next up is…Max." Severus pointed to the blonde, sitting on Sirius' lap. "Truth." Max said. He wasn't much of a dare-player. "What's the nicest thing about Sirius?" Severus asked him immediately. "Appearance-wise?" Severus nodded.

"Okay…I suppose his hair? Because it's so long and soft and-" "Black? Max, you sound like a schoolgirl." A quiet voice remarked behind them. They all turned around to see Remus standing there.

"Remus!" Peter was the first to exclaim. "You came!" Sirius sniggered at Peter's unmeant innuendo. "We thought you wouldn't be joining us anymore, so we just started without you…" Andromeda sounded apologetic. "That's okay." Remus waved his hand. 'I brought something, too." He added, shuffling around in his pocket. "It's my dads." He commented, the watch dangling from his slim fingers.

"And he's okay with you taking it for a game?" James asked stupidly. "I wouldn't know. I can hardly dig him up and ask." Remus retorted casually. The others fell silent and Sirius thought it was his task to do something. "Right, Remus, write your name on this paper and put it in the bowl. You know the rules, I expect?"

Nodding, Remus carefully put the watch into the box, his name in the bowl and then sat down next to Sirius, and incidentally, also Max. Max was the next to grab a name. "Oh, it's you!" he told Sirius excitedly. "So?" "Dare, of course!" Sirius said confidently. (Another similarity between James and Sirius, they loved their dares!) "I dare you to give us a nice dance. Around that small tree over there!" he pointed towards a thin tree close to where they were sitting. Max gave him a naughty smile, sure that Sirius would fail. He didn't know, of course, that Sirius tended to dance around every pole he came across back in the city.

The newer friends were left amazed by Sirius's little sexy dance, but Narcissa yelled he'd done better, to which Sirius retorted, "Oy! I haven't had any alcohol yet!" At the mention of alcohol, Peter gasped and opened his suspiciously large backpack. "Oh, no, I'd completely forgotten!" he pulled out large brown bottles. "What's that?" Bellatrix asked, as she had never seen those before, and she considered herself quite the expert. "Firewhiskey! My dad makes it himself!" Peter told them proudly, while opening one of the bottles and taking a hearty swig.

He then passed the bottle onto Rodolphus, who, after taking a sip, was coughing his brains out. "Baby Jesus, that is some strong whiskey!" a bit tentatively, Bella took the bottle from him. She took a sip. Then a gulp. Then another one. "I'm taking this home!" she exclaimed happily. "Compliments to your father, Peter!"

After everyone had finished their first bottle, they continued the game. Sirius was still up, and he pulled out Remus' note. "So…What's it gonna be, eh?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "Dare." Remus said, defiantly. "I dare you, to…stuff your pants with all the leaves you can find!" Remus' mouth fell open in shock. "Honestly…" he muttered as he went for a search of leaves. "Come back to show us, will you?!" James shouted after him.

A couple of minutes later, Remus returned, his pants comically enlarged by the leaves. "Nice ass." Sirius jokingly commented at the stuffed backside. Remus threw some leaves on him in return. "My hair!" Sirius grabbed his hair dramatically. "Oh, be quiet, you pansy." Remus retorted as if he was waving him off like an annoying bug.

Bellatrix watched the two with an amusing smile, wondering how long Max and Sirius would last. Not long, she suspected, if evenings like this would continue. The poor boys didn't have a clue.

Finito!

_Beta Nic: BRAVA! 3_


	5. Chapter 5

(Comments are italicized and in parenthesis)

_(Beta Comments are italicized and in parenthesis)_

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some characters that I made up, whom I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill! D

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex possibly graphic. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/ Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/ Rodolphus; Severus/ Regulus; Lucius/ Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda and Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

**Warning/s:** SHOWER SEX, like right now. If you don't like smut, then skip it until you see the X's

When Sirius woke up, he was feeling hot, and sticky. Now, this was good when you just had sex, but since the only thing Max and he had done last night was snogging, it wasn't a good hot and sticky. He decided he would take a quick jump in the showers, and then sneak back into bed. Sirius slid out of his bed, as quiet as he could so he wouldn't wake Max up, and grabbed a towel.

Failed! "Where are you going?" sounded a voice sleepily from the bed. Max was lazily propped up on his arm, watching Sirius, who was still only in his boxers. "To the showers…I'm all sweaty." He felt his hair. "And my hair feels terrible, too." "Okay…" Max murmured and fell back to sleep.

At least, that was Sirius thought. When he was just under the shower, the door of his cabin thingy opened and he turned around, not bothering to cover himself up. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid this is occupied." He smirked as he saw Max standing there, in his boxers and his jacket. "I don't mind sharing…" Max stepped forward underneath the spray. "Do you?" he turned to Sirius, giving him a husky look. Sirius, in return, hooked his arm behind Max's neck and pulled him close to his naked body. "Not at all…" he whispered, before taking Max's mouth forcefully.

Max moaned a little as Sirius inserted his tongue and bucked his hips. His erection brushed against Sirius, and Sirius felt himself harden instantly at the thought of shower sex. He turned Max around forcefully and pulled off his boxers, which were in fact colour pink, and threw them aside carelessly.

He stroked the lovely ass for a moment, before inserting a wet finger in a place which made Max squirm cutely. At the same time, his other hand gripped Max's hard length and he started stroking it teasingly slow. "Will you just get on with it?" Max growled, grabbing Sirius' long hair and softly pulling it. Sirius continued spreading Max for a little while longer before he realised that he didn't have condom.

"Max…I don't have anything with me." He sounded really disappointed and began pulling his fingers out of Max's arse. Max laughed loudly, and reached inside his now drenched jacket.

He pulled out a condom, and gave it to Sirius, who quickly tore off the packaging.

Sirius put on the condom, and pushed himself in, marvelling at the feeling. "God…You're so bloody…tight." He panted as he rocked himself against Max. "Maybe it's just that you're so bloody big." Max retorted, with a chuckle, followed by a moan as Sirius struck _that special place._ "Ohh fuck…" He mumbled almost inaudible, as Sirius continued rocking and stroking him at the same time. And then his toes curled against the wet tiles, the water was pouring onto him, Sirius' cum was poring into the condom and him and Max felt himself shoot his load at the wall, which he slumped against a moment later.

"Wauw…" he sighed happily, detaching himself from Sirius. 'You can say that again…' Sirius agreed, leaning against Max, letting the water clean them both off.

XXXXXXXX

To Bellatrix's great surprise, a month had passed and Max and Sirius still had this thing going on between them. It's not like she had something against the blonde dancer, but he wasn't something Sirius needed. It was time for Sirius to finally fall in love, to have a serious relationship. With Max, it was just the only-so-many-eth boy or girl he had casual sex and just general fun with.

But it wasn't like Sirius was playing Max like some heartless bastard, though. The two of them had an agreement to just enjoy the lots of sex and meaningless conversations. This is what Sirius always did, to make sure neither of them would get hurt and if there was one threatening to fall in love, the agreement was broken, as well as the "relationship".

But, Bellatrix was certain that Sirius had started falling for Remus. After that night of Truth or Dare, the two had gone for some walks, just to chat, and afterwards, Sirius would tell her all about them. He sounded like some schoolgirl in love, but he didn't seem to realise this fact. And thus, she had finally decided to confront her cousin about this.

"Sirius, we need to talk." It was like talking to a brick wall. A brick snogging wall.

"Sirius! For God's sake, I know you can hear me!" She swatted both of the boys on the head just because she could. "Are you serious?!" Max said with an adorable pout, rubbing his head. He did not like to be interrupted when he was snogging Sirius. "Yes, very." She retorted, dragging Sirius away. If he wasn't going to cooperate, she'd just have to use force.

Not that she had any problems with that.

--

"What do you want, Bella?" Sirius sighed deeply. He'd been having fun, and was forcefully taken away from it! "It's about what you want. What you need." She started. "Well, and about Max. And Remus, but you'll figure that out soon. I just need to clear something up. Last year, you told me you wanted something serious, a real relationship. And look what you are doing now! The same old thing and you know it!" she panted harshly, pointing her finger accusingly at his nose. "I cannot let you do this to yourself, again. Or to Max. He'll fall for you, I know he will. But you won't fall for him." Sirius got angry after that comment. She made it sound like he was using him, after all.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" "It means that you aren't going to fall in love with him, because you already would've if it was to happen. You've been "with" him longer than with anyone else since Katherine. If he was it, it would've happened by now."

Sirius gripped his hair at the mentioning at his first and only love, Katherine. She'd been playing with him, like he was nothing to her. But he'd fallen in love, hard. When she found out he loved her, she broke it off immediately and told him to never call her again. And he never had, because he loved her, and thus respected her wishes.

However he'd never forgiven her either, for the scars she'd left behind. It was because of her, that he was afraid to truly fall in love again. Because of her, he had done things he never imagined himself capable of, also things he never, ever wanted to do again.

"I know…" He rubbed his nose softly. "I know, okay…It's just that…That thing I have…I can't just switch it off." He looked at her, helplessly. Fortunately, Bellatrix always knew what to say in these situations. "You don't have to switch it off. Someone else has to. Someone has to make you fall in love with them." He looked at her like she was crazy. She was, but that is besides the point here.

"Listen, I think…That you and I both know that you would love to shag Remus." His cousin was also very blunt. "And what I think that you don't know is that Remus would love to shag you too. But he doesn't realize that yet, because you've been a good boy. You have not done your magic on him yet." Sirius couldn't help but smirk at that last comment. "Oh stop it. This is what I think you should do. Talk to Max about it. Explain properly. Tell him about Katherine if you need to. He'll understand, I am sure. He's a good person, Sirius. He's not like her."

After Sirius had thought about this for a while (and Bella had left), he decided that, in the long run, it was the best course of action. He'd have to confront himself with his problems. He couldn't hide any longer

"Max, babe…" he started nervously. Max held up his hands. "I know, I know. I kind of followed you." He looked sheepishly at Sirius. "I can't help it, Sirius. I'm a rather curious person, you know." He took a deep breath. "And I agree with Bella. You shouldn't treat yourself this way. It's not what you deserve. It's not what _I _deserve."

Sirius just nodded mutely. It wasn't very often someone made him speechless, but at the same time, he was happy that he wouldn't have to explain everything now. "But don't worry, okay. I'm fine. You're fine. We're both **fine.**"

Finally, Sirius found his voice again. "So…You're not mad, or anything?" Max smiled cutely at him. "No…In fact, I will help you!" he exclaimed. "Are you insane?" Sirius asked him, slightly confused. "No, not at all. I just notice things, is all. And I noticed that you like Remus. Especially in his golden tights." He grinned at that, but continued. "And I think Remus likes you too. He's really relaxed around you, for some reason. It took for us months to get him to say something other than "Hello." and "Goodbye.". He doesn't like most people, because they think he is weird. He's mostly insecure about what they think of him, because he's…well, you know, gay. But it's like he knows you won't judge him. Not because you don't care if someone is a girl or a boy, just to shag them is good enough, but it's something else. I haven't quite figured that out yet. Anyway, I am volunteering to help you getting somewhere with him."

Sirius shot him a look and Max laughed. "No, not in the way you're thinking. I actually do have some match-making skills, you know. Despite what Ted said at the fair." "Really, now?" Sirius said sarcastically, but with a smile. "Yes, I do!" Max cried out indignantly. "But, no fear, I won't use them for you. It is possible he could finally fall for me after all…" He sighed deeply. "I always did want to get in his pants. But, he is yours for the taking."

"Why are you helping me get a boy you want?" Max gave him a wry smile. "Andrew got back from his holiday. And, may I say, that he looks very good with a tan…" Sirius barked out a loud laugh, startling some birds in the trees that flew up quickly. "So, what do I have to do to get you together with him?" asked Sirius as he finally got what Max was trying to do.

"Well…" the blonde started saying. But, that's when they were interrupted by a flailing James Potter, flying through the air on his skateboard. Man, did that boy have a horrible timing. "Excuse me, Potter, but we were talking here." He snapped playfully at the scruffy haired Prankster. "Pish posh, what I have to say is much more important." He took a gulp of air, got off his arse (he'd landed without much grace) and wringed his hands together evilly. "I have just heard the most amazing news. Lily Evans is landing!"

The two other boys looked at him quizzically. He was, indeed, making very little sense. "Well, she's arriving in a few weeks, but! This is the best part! She wrote me a letter!" He swished out a small note out of his back pocket.

James cleared his throat and began to read aloud. "Potter. Don't wet your pants over this, but I am coming home in two weeks. I am giving you one tip. Try to get over yourself, and me, and do not bother me for at least a day after I got home. If you ignore this, I will make sure you can never produce a child. I don't wish you well. Lily Evans." He put his hand above his heart dramatically and said; "What a woman…" Max and Sirius just pushed him back onto the ground.

--

"Right, I think we should just discuss a plan with the entire group." Max announced when everyone was seated. They had wandered off towards the lake, and Max had told everyone to sit down and listen. "Sirius and I have decided to go our separate ways. But! We will help each other get the one we each truly desire." He said this with a flair to match Sirius'.

"Namely, Remus Lupin and Andrew Catt. Andrew has just arrived from his holiday and was looking very attractive indeed. We all know Sirius likes Remus, so we can skip the introduction of that." He smiled naughtily at Sirius when he said this. "Anyway, I have tried to devise a plan, but I couldn't come up with anything other than match-making, and Sirius seriously doubted my skills, which are excellent, I'll have you know.' He added the last part at the agreeing looks. "So, I have called this meeting. This way, you can all give us your most brilliant ideas."

Regulus was the first to raise his hand. "Why don't you just tell them?" Max stared at him stupidly, and then shook his head. "No, no, we have to seduce them first." "But you can do that by telling them." Regulus retorted.

"Just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it will work for us, Reg." Sirius interjected. "Besides, Sev was already in love with you." "Ah yes, that's true…" Regulus nodded to himself wisely.

"You could just do your "sexy" dance." Lucius offered, with a smirk. "No, no, he's already seen that, and he hasn't exactly jumped my bones." Sirius countered. "And Andrew has seen me dance more times than I can remember. It won't impress him anymore." Max added.

"Right, right." Lucius mumbled. "I can give you a make-over!" Narcissa suddenly squealed. She was the only one that looked excited about her idea. "No!" Sirius cried out instantly. "Not another make-over! I've seen what you've done to Lucius, the poor kid!"

"Maybe…You should try to be friends with them first." Rodolphus suggested, with a sly glance at Bella, who pointedly ignored him. "Hmm…" Sirius thought about this. Even though he hadn't quite gotten to be Remus' friend far yet, it was definitely working somewhat. Bellatrix had already been persuaded; Rodolphus just didn't know this because she refused to let him know.

"That could work…" Max mused. "So, we should invite them over here?" Sirius thought out loud. Everyone agreed, and thus, Project G.R.A.A.A.F.A.P was set in order. (Get Remus And Andrew As Fast As Possible.)

--

The group had started to hold small parties in different locations every week. This week, the girls' apartment was up. They had cleaned up the place somewhat, bought some decorations at the local store and it looked very nice, now. It had the right vibe for talking and intimacy, which was exactly what they were looking for.

To make it look less suspicious, they had invited some other people they had met during their stay as well. "Oh, Ted!" Andromeda exclaimed. She had called herself the "Door-Woman". "I'm so glad you could make it after all! How was your trip? Was it fun?" "Oh yeah, it was okay. I mean, my aunt isn't exactly what I would call fun, but she makes a good roast beef!"

Love always goes through the tummy with men….And then Sirius heard the name he wanted to hear. "Remus! You're right on time!" Andromeda said teasingly. Sirius got out of the small kitchen, where he'd been making the drinks, to greet his new friend and potential boyfriend. "Good evening!" he greeted jovially, shaking Remus' hand comically. "Err, hello." Remus replied, quite taken aback. "Where did you pop up from?" Remus looked around for any hidden doorways.

"Oh, just the kitchen. I'm in charge of the drinks." Sirius answered. As he walked back into the kitchen, he heard Remus mutter just loud enough for him to hear; "What a surprise." Of course, this was sarcastic.

"Tush-tush, Remus. Are you saying I am an alcoholic? Because, let me tell you, I have been to the AA and they have told me my habits were normal for a teenager such as myself." "They should be called, Alcoholic Stimulators, then." Remus told him dryly, grabbing himself one of the martini glasses.

He simply lit up as he took a sip. "These are extremely good, Sirius. Where did you learn to make drinks like this?" Because he looked honestly interested, Sirius answered seriously. (Oh haha) "I took a course." Remus nearly spat out his drink in Sirius face at that.

"What?" he spluttered with laughter. "Are you serious?" Sirius resisted the pun. "I am always Sirius." Okay, no, he did it. But, to his surprise, Remus did not groan or slap him, like Severus or Narcissa, but he laughed heartily. Sirius was sort of speechless then.

For the second time that week. He wasn't planning on making a habit of it, though. "You're the only one who laughs at that joke, anymore." He told Remus with a smile. "Maybe because he's the only one who hasn't heard it fifty times a day." Severus sneered at him from the doorway. "Hurry up, will you, everyone is waiting for their drinks."

"There he is!" Regulus yelled, excited at the thought of Sirius' amazing drinks. Sirius wiggled his hips attractively and placed the platter with small glasses on a table. His brother was the first to grab two, which he downed instantly. "Easy there, Reg." Severus said, pulling back his new boyfriend, who had been going to grab another two.

Oddly, Regulus did as he was told, and thus he didn't get that drunk that evening. This was an achievement that had to be celebrated. With alcohol, of course.

The music was turned on loudly, and Rodolphus was in charge of the radio. He had gotten the sound up by attaching his boxes to the radio, making the electro music pop out quite hard.

Sirius felt like dancing, and dragged Remus up from his chair. "Come on, you're a great dancer!" he whined as Remus stood still on the small space that was supposed to be a dance floor. "Yes, but not to this kind of music." Remus replied, about to sit back down. "Oh no, you don't!" Sirius protested, pulling Remus close to him. "You know how to do it, I know you do!" Sirius put his hands on Remus' hips and pushed them from right to left forcefully; making it look like Remus was a Hawaiian Hoola-Hoop dancer. In return, Remus placed his hands on Sirius' shoulders, making them move as well. The sight was very comical, indeed, so the two were more laughing than dancing.

--

"Shall we go for a stroll?" Remus asked a slightly intoxicated Sirius. "Good plan, my friend." Sirius grabbed his jacket and cigarettes, before following Remus out of the apartment. They made their way out of the camp, walking slowly and in silence. "Remus…what happened to your dad?" Sirius asked, as they sat down on the wet grass for a while.

Remus didn't say anything for a few minutes, before he told Sirius; "I don't know. I can't remember what happened, because I was four when he died. My mum says it was an accident, but sometimes, I have these dreams, and they tell me different…"

"What's in your dreams, then?" Sirius asked quietly, slightly out of breath. "I apparently saw him die, according to my Mum. She said she found us because I was screaming so hard, I couldn't use my voice for a week or two after that. I still can't properly, actually… In the dreams, I see a man, with a stubble and a mean looking face, strangling my father. But I don't know why, because my father never liked to fight." He sucked in a deep breath of air and then asked Sirius for a cigarette.

At Sirius' startled look, he explained. "Sometimes, I just need one." "I tried to ask around, but no-one would tell me anything different than my Mum does. I don't remember him dying, but I think the dreams are telling me what really happened. After he died, my mum stopped working for a while and we lost a lot of money. Then, a friend of my father, named Albus Dumbledore, gave us the money we needed for a house. But my mum still wasn't quite up to that, so we came here instead… We've lived here ever since…It's cheaper than a house and we can afford it now, but we like living here. It has something about it, living on a camp…" he trailed off, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"My mum doesn't like me smoking…It's bad for my voice, she says. There's something snapped in my throat…It's really difficult to explain, really." "I was wondering about that…Is that why you don't really talk often? Peter thought you didn't like him, because you always seemed to ignore him."

"He was nosey, and I don't like nosey people." Remus said abruptly.

" But I'm nosey, too." The honey-blonde shot him a look that told him to drop the subject.

"Let's talk about something else..." Sirius laughed nervously, before he stopped himself. He was never the nervous one.

"So, how are you and Max doing?" Remus asked him, flicking away his finished cigarette. "Oh, actually, we're not…err…"together" anymore." He made the apostrophes in the air with his fingers.

Remus looked surprised. "Oh? Why not?" "He likes that Andrew kid again. I don't mind, really. I am looking for someone I can really fall in love with, anyway." "Andrew? You mean, the one with the big trousersnake?" Remus laughed at the memory of the conversation at the fair. Sirius quite liked it when Remus laughed. The sound wrung its way down to his belly, creating sensations that he refused to call butterflies.

A/N

FINISHED because I can't really think of what else to put in this chapter that I wasn't going to put in later ones! Hope you liked it (and the sex scene) and reviews are very much welcome! And since I don't get any flamer-comments, I've never actually had those, I think…the reviews will be put in my blanket instead, to keep me warm at night! (if you're wondering where this came from, my toes are feeling like ice cubes at the moment)

_Beta Nic: Loved it! RLSB 4EVER!3_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers: None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some characters that I made up, whom I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill! =D

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex *possibly graphic*. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/ Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/ Rodolphus; Severus/ Regulus; Lucius/ Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda and Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

A/N I am very sorry this is taking me so long. I don't think it's my best. I was just kind of stuck here. Also, I put some footnotes in here, hope you're not too bothered by them. Hey, at least it's better than the random A/N I used to put in my older fics at my previous account!

Ah, the olden days, aye!

--

Remus and Sirius continued talking for hours, while, back at the party, the others had started a drinking game. It was one of Bella's personal favourites, called 'I Never…' I think we all know how that one goes, but for the extremely dim or poorly-informed, you basically say something like "I never kissed the back of my hand" and then everyone who did has to drink.

" Ohhh it's my turn, now!" Bellatrix giggled, she'd had quite a lot of Sirius' specialty.

"Okay, okay! I never…kissed a girl!" she and Peter were the only ones who took a sip of their drinks.

"When did you do that?!" Andromeda shrieked with laughter at her sister. "I didn't know you had lesbian tendencies!"

"I don't!" Bella exclaimed. "It was just to make Rodolphus horny!" Rodolphus looked over at her in horror.

"What? You told me you really liked her! Whats-er-face… Ah yes, it was Mandy!"

Bellatrix burst out laughing loudly, scaring Regulus out of his panties slightly. She sounded like a maniac when she was drunk.

"I would never fancy her! Her ego is way too big!"

"Yes, the two of you combined would be rather disastrous…" Severus remarked dryly.

"Oh, do shut up, will you…" Bella grumbled.

"Why would you want to make me horny?" Rodolphus asked her, taking hold of her arm lightly. Could it be…

Bella stared at him for a while, her face unreadable, before she told him it was funny.

"It was not funny! I felt _miserable_ for days after that!" he shouted at her, standing up from his seat on the couch.

"Seriously, Bella, how can you even stand yourself!" with that, he escaped the room.

"What…just…happened?" Bella thought aloud, her voice shaky.

"I think…you finally drove him over the edge." Andromeda told her sister carefully.

"Well fuck."

"Ro?" Bella called into the dark night. "What!" Rodolphus snapped back.

"Where are you?" She peered around, but didn't see him anywhere. Then he emerged from the bushes.

"What do you want, Bella?" he sighed deeply, halting in front of her.

She'd never seen him this angry, at least not at _her_.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You would've laughed at me." He replied. She opened her mouth to protest, but Rodolphus quickly added;" You know you would've. You always laugh at me when I am being serious!"

"But-"

"No, Bella! You just pushed too far this time, okay? You need to learn when enough is enough!" he stalked off again. This time, she didn't even attempt to follow him.

For the next couple of days, Rodolphus tried to ignore the love of his life. But, as she was the love of his life, this was not so easy. Not only was Bella behaving rather charming, but he also regretted yelling at her.

But, he had to stand strong. Lucius told him Bella looked rather impressed at his outburst, and convinced him that this was his chance. If he became "unreachable" then maybe, Bella would notice how much she missed him when he wasn't around her all the time and fall in love with him. What he didn't know, was that she was already in love with him. But that doesn't matter.

Sirius had tried to stick up for his niece, saying that making someone horny was actually rather funny but it didn't help a bit. Bellatrix was still being ignored. And god-damnit if she hated anything more than that. There now was a third plan, called Get-Rodolphus-Back-To-Drooling- So- The-Universe-Is-Right-Again. GRBTSTUIRA for short.

"So now Bella is trying her best to get Rodolphus to act like himself again…" Sirius finished. Remus shot him an amused look and just snorted. "This is absolutely ridiculous. If she just came up to him and told him straight out that she likes him back, then there would be no problem." He shook his head. "But I suppose that that's not enough fun, right?"

Sirius nodded. "Indeed, Remus! And Bella would never give up her pride like that."

He added, seeing Bella stare at Rodolphus in what she imagined to be an inconspicuous way. It wasn't. "Anyway, any more plans I should know about?" Remus asked him, not really serious. He doubted they could think of more than one plan that stupid. "Actually, there are plans…but none of which you should know about!" Sirius winked at him, before hopping off to join Bella in her misery. Or rather, pull her out of it. She was not the one that was supposed to be miserable. After all, Sirius still wasn't sure if Remus liked him in a non-platonic way.

Remus was left in a state of confusion. One minute he and Sirius were talking, and the next, he'd ran off towards his cousin. He just didn't know what to think of him. Despite, of course, that he was extremely good-looking. But everyone could see that, so that's not really of importance. It's not like Sirius would like him back, anyway. He sighed and stood up go off to his mum's and help her with whatever she was doing now.

"I think…that we should go out shopping." Narcissa suggested to the group of friends.

"It will lighten the spirits and-"

"Empty my wallet?" Orion cut in, with a smile.

Narcissa nodded. "Yes, yes. But it will also help our plans. If you guys look better, then they won't be able to keep their eyes off you!" Bella mused on this thought for a moment. How was this going to help her? Rodolphus already thought she was attractive…Hell, he was already in love with her! Maybe…if she was especially nice to him today? She nearly choked on her drink for thinking of something so…unlike her. But, apparently, the person she was being now wasn't what Rodolphus wanted anymore. She would have to change… "I'm in!" she shouted immediately. "I think it's the perfect opportunity for a make-over!"

"NOOO!" All the boys yelled back, shuddering.

"Is everybody ready to go?" Orion asked the kids collected in the back of the car.

"Yes." "No!"

"Well, which one is it, because I am not waiting another fifteen minutes!"

Regulus had, earlier, ran out just as the car was about to start, trying to escape saying it was because he had a cold. After that, Narcissa claimed that her mascara was running and that she needed to fix it, and she had run out to the apartment. Her pocket-mirror entirely forgotten.

"I forgot to take a waz!" Sirius whined, and promptly sprinted out of the car towards a nearby bush. No way was he going to make it to the washrooms.

"Ew, Sirius, that's so common of you!" Narcissa shrieked at him, as he pulled down his pants.

After he was back, Walburga snapped; "Now can we go?!"

"Let's go in here first!" Narcissa squealed at the jewellery shop. It looked expensive, her favourite kind of store. "I don't see why, Cissa…You've got enough as it is!" Lucius told her, thinking about the bulging boxes in her room. "Nonsense, one can never have too much jewellery!" she exclaimed, dragging her boyfriend inside. "I swear to God, she will be the death of him." Severus said, shaking his head as they leaned against the wall, waiting for Narcissa to finish. "And of us." Regulus added, holding out a lighter for Sev, who was fumbling for his own.

Surprisingly, Narcissa came out of the store after only two minutes, a furious Lucius right on her heels "Why won't you buy me a ring?!" she hissed, trying very hard not to embarrass herself. "Because, I don't think we should think about stuff like this yet!" Lucius replied.

It was entirely obvious to the others what this was about. You see, Narcissa had been nagging her boyfriend about this marriage-thing for a couple of months now. At first, he just laughed at her, but as time went by, she got more serious about it and the more he freaked out. He was only seventeen for gods' sake!

"I am thinking about it, and so should you!" Narcissa exploded, making the whole street look at them. The group pulled Narcissa away from her boyfriend, whom she was about to strangle. "Listen, Cissa, this is not the right time, nor the right place to discuss this." Bella told her sister. "Now, either make-up with Lucius or ignore him and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the day." Despite the fact that Narcissa didn't think she'd done anything wrong, she did as Bella told her. She shut up and ignored Lucius. He didn't really mind, he liked peace and quiet every once in a while.

"I'm so not going in there!" Andromeda said, a look of disgust on her face. They stood in front of a _sexshop_. '_Do they not have any class?'_ she wondered, as she observed the faces of the intensely interested boys…and Bella.

'_Obviously not_' she thought as Sirius opened the door excitedly.

"I'll wait outside with you." Narcissa offered. Andromeda quickly followed Sirius, she did not fancy hearing Narcissa whine while the others amused themselves with—was that a strap-on?!

"Look at this!" Regulus cried out, holding a lolly-pop in the shape of a penis. He grinned deviously at his boyfriend, who just raised an eyebrow. "I'm getting some of these!" he quickly picked up several other lolly-pops, giggling as he went. "Maybe I should just buy these…" Bella mused beside her. She was fingering some fluffy handcuffs. "I could just strap him to the bed and have my wicked way with him. He won't be so angry then!" she cackled softly.

Really, was she born in a family of freaks?!

It became evident that she was, when Sirius showed her some very interestingly shaped condoms. "Narcissa, let's go. Call us when you're finished." She told Severus, the only slightly responsible one of the group

"Cissa! I'll let you dress me, just stop moping!" she sighed loudly, regretting taking her sister with her. As soon as she said that, though, Narcissa brightened up surprisingly fast. "Really? Okay, I've seen a store a few minutes ago that had really nice dresses!" Now, Andromeda was being dragged out of the store. While still holding the hat she was about to buy._ Ah, well, a free hat is always nice_

"No." Andromeda shuddered at the frilly thing Narcissa was showing her. "Come on, Ted will like it, I'm sure!" the blonde smiled at her sister. "I've noticed you looking at him….You want him to looooove you!" "You're so annoying, no wonder Malfoy doesn't want to marry you.' Andromeda mumbled under her breath, taking the tiny dress from Narcissa.

"I heard that!" she called, as Andromeda entered the changing cabinet. "I know!" was the reply.

God, this thing was tight. _'Why do women even wear these things? Oh, that's right; they want men to like them._' Andromeda studied herself in the mirror. It didn't look so bad, despite it being short and clingy. In fact, it made her look quite…girly. She wasn't a girly-girl though. She liked her jeans and old ratty sneakers just as much as the next boy. Maybe that's why Ted hadn't really flirted with her yet…He didn't like her looking like a boy.

She turned around and checked out how she looked from the back. _'WOW! I've got an ass!'_

"How does it look?" Narcissa stormed in, without any warning. She just stood there, gaping at her sister. "Wow, Andy, you really are a girl!" She giggled softly and went back out, muttering all sorts of things under her breath. "Gee, thanks…" the dark-haired girl took one last look in the mirror before taking the dress off. She would buy it and damnit if Ted didn't see her like a girl then!

A/N

Yeah, I know, craptastic ending

Beta: I know I am soooo sorry I am late in submitting this it's cause I've been sooo busy with work and school. I did not even get to beta it that well because I've been holding it off for too long doing other important things, I just zipped through and did the basic beta-ing. Sooo sorry to all the readers and to Rowan! . This won't happen again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimers:** _None of the Harry Potter characters or places belongs to me._ However, there are some characters that I made up, whom I hope you will come to enjoy. Furthermore, this was based lightly on the beginning of my own holiday. We arrived at an under kept summer camp for Rhodesian Ridgebacks and all of my hopes of a nice holiday (and the opportunity of wearing my new dress) went out of the window. The holiday turned out nice though, so no worries. In my boredom, I started writing this! I had a lot of time to kill, ink to spill, and paper to fill! =D

Onwards with the story stuff…

**Warnings:** Slash and sex *possibly graphic*. In later chapters: smoking, drinking and bad language.

**Summary: **Every year, Sirius' family goes to a luxurious mansion for the summer. They sometimes invite some friends along, so it is always fun. However, as they arrived at the supposed mansion, there proved to be a slight problem. There was no mansion! What are they going to do?

**Pairing/s:** first Sirius/Original Character; Later on Remus/Sirius; Bellatrix/Rodolphus; Severus/Regulus; Lucius/Narcissa; and Lily/James. There's also Peter in this, but I haven't quite thought of if I should pair him up with someone. Oh, also Andromeda/Ted.

**Time/Era: **This is set in a future time, like…Our time, because I find it easier to write about. At least I won't have to remind myself they might not listen to this or that band back in the 70's and stuff like that. It's also A/U. No wizards!

**Authors Note: **I was stuck all day with no internet, so I decided to do another chapter. This does contain some footnotes.

As the day went on, Andromeda was dragged into various stores. Narcissa had tried to get her to buy some strappy sandals to go with the dress, but she drew the line at 1 inch heels. Those alone were practically a death-trap!(1) Andromeda was not known for her natural grace...

"Shit! There's Lucius!" Narcissa took her hand and ducked into an alley.

"What the hell are you doing?" Andromeda cussed, straddling her crushed hand.

Her sister looked anxious. "I can't face him now! I acted like a…a…child!"

"Well, glad you finally realised it." Andromeda muttered. "What spurred you on to be so eager to marry anyway?"

"I was thinking last night…I can't live without him, you know. He's been in my life since, well, forever, and just imagining life without him makes me want to commit suicide."

"You're so dramatic."

"Shut up, I'm serious. Imagine if…you really loved someone, you know, and you had seen them eye other girls sometimes and you knew he wouldn't do anything with them, because he has you but maybe, someday, that feeling would go away and he did leave you for one of them…Wouldn't you freak out?"

As usual, Andromeda didn't understand a word of her sisters blabbering. Especially since Narcissa was choking away tears at the same time.

"Seriously, Narcissa, stop being ridiculous. Lucius would never do that to you. You practically own him, anyway."

"Really?"

"Are you blind, or something? He _loves_ you. For fucks' sake, who else would put up with your mood swings?"

"You're such a bitch." Narcissa smiled, and wiped away the tears. "Let's go then!"

"Exactly my point..."

"So, what did you get, lovely ladies?" Sirius grinned charmingly at the two, once they'd arrived at the car.

"Andromeda bought a dress!" Narcissa squealed. "So Ted can finally see the woman inside!"

Andromeda growled and shoved her way inside the car. "I should have left you blubbering by yourself in that alley." She huffed, stuffing away the bag that held the dress.

"Let me see!" Bella commanded. She ripped the bag from behind Andromeda's back and looking inside…"Jesus Christ, you went all out, didn't you? It's even got lace." She showed a chagrin Lucius the dress. "Look at it!"

"Very nice." He grumbled. "Cis, c'mere." Narcissa eagerly took the seat next to him. "Look, I don't know why you suddenly felt the need to tie me down but, if it's because you think I'll leave, then you shouldn't have worried. I'm not leaving, okay?" he kissed her gently on the cheek. "No one keeps me on a short leash like you do."

"Well, now that is all settled, can we please go back to me?!" Sirius roared.

" I've got a Lupin to seduce!"

However, once they arrived at the camp, it seemed that Sirius' problem would have to wait a little longer. Apparently, the infamous Lily Evans had gotten back from her holiday and James was a complete mess.

"So, I waited at her house for _three bloody hours_ and then when she finally got there, she slapped me! EIGHT TIMES!" He whooped. "I've never been so happy!"

Needlessly to say, they were quite worried for his mental stability.

"It happens all the time." Peter reassured them. "The more often she slaps him, the better. He says it's the skin contact that will eventually do her in."

That wasn't very reassuring at all.

"James, what have I told you?" A quiet voice spoke from behind the friends.

"REMUS!" Sirius jumped up immediately. "Oh, how I have missed you today!"

"I'm sure you have." Remus replied, and then turned back to James. "I told you not to speak to her for at least a week. I know you are some kind of masochist, but seriously, her slapping you is not a good thing when you try to snag her. She called me earlier, and told me she would be at the lake for a swim tomorrow. We can go, and you will not speak to her until she comes to sit with us, got that? Then, you will calmly ask her about her holiday- do not ask if she snogged any lads- and then leave it at that if she doesn't offer any other conversation. Take. It. Slow."

James seemed to have stopped paying attention when Remus mentioned she would come by for a swim tomorrow. It must've been the thought of her in a bathing suite.

-The Next Day-

"So, Remus, are you joining us today?" Sirius asked, flexing his muscles. He had taken extra care to look good- even shaved his armpits.(2)

"It would seem so." Remus pointed to his swimming trunks and towel.

"If I wouldn't, Lily would never join us." He added, as a flaming redhead started making her way over.

"Good point." Sirius sighed, raking his hand through his hair.

"Oh, don't tell me, you're James' long lost brother?" was the first thing Lily Evans said.

Sirius looked at her quizzically. "I have absolutely no idea what you mean." He turned to Remus. "Is she always this rude?"

"Remus, who is this snob?" Lily asked, putting her things down on the grass next to Remus'.

"This? This is, err, Sirius Black." A look of realisation crossed Lily's face.

"Oh. _Ohhh._ Nice, Remus." This confused Sirius even more. What was this all about, anyway? (3)

"Yes, very nice to meet you, Evans. I can totally see why James fancies you." Sirius said sarcastically. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going for a swim." He jogged off to join his family.

"Seriously, James, I do not understand why fancy her. She's rude, obnoxious and a _redhead._"

"Look, just because you fancy the quiet, scrawny type of _guy_; doesn't mean we all do." James retorted, before staring dreamily at Lily in her black bikini.

"Ouch." Sirius muttered. "Narcissa, shouldn't you be gossiping with her, right now?" He turned to his blonde niece, but she was to busy sucking Lucius' face off to pay attention.

"WHY DOES NO ONE PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE?!" he screamed, sinking under water.

A hand pulled him back up by his hair. "Did you say something?" Remus asked, a smile on his face.

"No…not really." Sirius stammered. Why did the boy have to be so incredibly _pretty?_

"So, what'd you think of Lily, then?"

"Well, she's…err…certainly something else." Sirius finished off lamely. It appeared his brain had died. How useful.

"It takes a while to get used to it, yes, but once you get to know her, she's great."

Sirius shot him a sceptical look. "Are you sure about that?"

Remus looked him in the eye. "Absolutely." Sirius could've drowned right then and there, if only the water hadn't been knee-deep.

"Ow!" James howled as Lily kicked him in the shins. "Woman, why must you torture me so!"

"Because you are an arrogant, insulting, belittling arsehole, that's why!"

"What did he do now?" Remus whispered to Peter, who replied quietly: "He told her boobs came out quite nicely in that bikini top and asked her to wear it more often."

Remus winced and looked back at the scene. James was lying on the grass, clutching his leg while Lily was screaming her lungs out.

"This happens all the time, as well." Peter told a shocked Severus. "We keep telling him not to tell her everything that comes up in his mind, but…as you see, to no avail."

"Lily, dear, calm down." Remus took a step forward. Everyone gasped.

"No, Remus, don't do it!" Sirius whisper-screamed frantically. "She'll eat you alive!"

"Lils, remember what we talked about?"

"Oh I remember, Remus! BUT HE KIND OF RUINED MY SELF-CONTROL BY BEING SUCH AN ASS!" Lily laughed hysterically.

"I know, I know. But you are kind of scaring the kids here." The group turned to the right, where another group of small children stood, quivering in fear.

Suddenly, Lily smiled at them, which scared them even more. "Oh, sillies, I'm not mad at you." She cooed. "It's just that this one here…" she kicked the still whimpering James. "was saying very, very rude things about me. You can kick him for me, if you like?"

Slowly, the children approached. "Really?" one boy asked. "Hey, he stole my candy yesterday!" another one piped up. "ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

And thus, James was murdered by a horde of six year olds. But not really, much to Lily's regret.

"Owwww." James moaned, pressing a pack of ice to his right eye. "That stupid kid…I will get back at him and poke him with twigs, see if _he_ likes it!"

"Poor James, defeated by a bunch of children." Bella giggled around her beer bottle.

They were gathered around the fire once again, it was quickly becoming a nightly ritual.

Mr and Mrs Black had gone out for the night, growing sick of cooking for themselves, and leaving the teens to their own devices.(4)

"Oh shut up! I would like to watch you getting kicked around, you won't laugh anymore then!" James muttered darkly. "Bitch."

"Come on, James, you have to admit, it was pretty funny." Peter piped up. "And you did steal that one kids' candy. You know not to touch other kids' candy. Things are bound to get ugly then. Remember when you stole Remus' candy when we were eight?"

James nodded slowly and then winced at the memory. "My arse hurt for days after that! Jesus, Remus, you can give quite the spanking."

"Oh yes, it was one of the best days of my life!" Remus cackled. "You were just lucky my arm was getting tired."

"You spanked James?" Regulus asked, eyes wide with surprise. "I thought he used to bully you?"

"Naw, I totally bossed him around until he found out I was gay." Remus told them casually. "That's when he started to spank _me._"

"I did not!" James gasped, mock-offended.

"Do you miss spanking him, then?" Sirus asked, wiggling his eyebrows. "You can spank me anytime you want, Remus."

"You are such a perv, Sirius." Remus mumbled, blushing furiously.

"You know you like it."

"Oh yes, I simply love it when you talk dirty to me." Remus replied sarcastically. "It totally turns me on."

"We did not need to know that, mate." Lucius pretended to gag. "That just ruins my appetite."

"But what about that gay porn we watched with my last birthday, Lucius? I thought you enjoyed that?" Regulus sniffled. "You even excused yourself to the bathroom!"

"Yeah, to throw up." Lucius sneered. "Why would I like gay porn when I have the hottest girlfriend ever?" He smiled Narcissa, who was sitting between his legs.

"Oh shush, darling, I don't mind you having gay feelings every once in a while, as long as you don't act on them, I won't hunt you down to bring you to your demise." Narcissa joked, poking Lucius in the chest. "I like how it makes you want to prove your heterosexuality to me. It's very…sexy."

They started making eyes at each other.

"Do you, err, want to be alone, or something?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, our room is totally vacant, now." Bella suggested.

"Go use it. We don't want live porn, thank you very much." Andromeda added.

-The Next Day-

"Had a good sleep?" Ted asked Andromeda, as she stumbled down to the breakfast table. He, James and Peter had taken to joining them for breakfast every morning.

"Not really. Narcissa's moaning kept me up all night." She yawned. "Nothing I'm not used to."

Ted made a face. "Ugh, hearing your sister having sex…"

"It appears to be a big turn on for Lucius to have others hear them enjoying themselves. They once did it at the theatre."

"How does one do that, in those tiny seats?" James wondered aloud.

"Oh, not it, but you know…other..stuff." Andromeda trailed off. "I would give you details, but I don't think you'd appreciate it while you were eating."

James shrugged. "I don't mind."

"No, I didn't think you would, I'm just thinking of other people here. You should try it sometime." Andromeda jabbed playfully.

"Oh, burn!" Regulus crowed.(5)

-Finito-

It was a short one, but I have no excuse for that!

**Now, for the footnotes**

**1 **I've been obsessing over Twilight lately, and Bella calling the heels she has to wear death

traps just was too funny not to put it in.

**2 **I hate guys with hairy armpits. Actually, I just hate hairy everything that is not on one's head.

**3 **If anyone wants to know what Lily meant here- ask for it in the review. I do not want to spoil it- since you will definitely find out next time- I think…But my Beta suggested that I did explain.

**4 **The Blacks may be nice, but they are quite irresponsible parents in my vision.

**5 **I've been watching "That 70's Show" all morning- that is, until the internet decided to die out on me. ( yes, I have issues)

_Beta: I liked the chapter though it was short. Very very nice. Definitely better than the last chappie 3 Luicius and Narcissa are sooo sweet! _


End file.
